Anxious Spaces: The intersection of sexuality, the senses and emotion in fieldwork in Nepal

Abstract

This chapter argues that personal sensorial and emotional experiences in fieldwork can be important for the acquisition of anthropological knowledge. Conducting research on gendered subjectivities and discourses of honour and shame in remote Western Nepal as a first‑time female fieldworker, I had a clear realisation of the intersection of senses, emotions and space. The Nepali lifestyle and lived spaces gave rise to a specific bodily praxis, in which corporeality, senses and emotions played an important role. In particular, being categorised as both woman and other attracted much unwanted sexual attention. As a result I 'felt' myself 'in' my body acutely, which at times gave rise to a high level of anxiety and awareness. My chapter will focus on this experience, which led me to feel and (re)act in certain ways. This relates to wider themes of gender, sexuality, comportment and honour in Nepali life, which are issues that Nepali women confront on a daily level. In the chapter, I explore the extent to which managing my visibility and 'dulling the senses' (see Desjarlais 1997) of sight and hearing as techniques of comportment and ease of movement during fieldwork had a significant impact on my understanding of how it 'feels' to be a woman in Nepal. This chapter will seek to explore the importance of such corporeal and emotional experiences of the intersection of senses, space and emotion in the acquisition of anthropological knowledge in 'the field'.